Baby Deux: 34 Weeks

So, my self of recent weeks got it wrong.

NOW I am officially in the third trimester, and feeling it all the way. I'm back to restless sleep and some discomfort in the sense of trying to find a sleep position that doesn't put at least one body part to sleep in that awful, stabbing acupuncture-y sense of the word. I've awakened two out of the last three nights a charley horse in one of my calves, and I'm beginning to realize that the reason why I didn't swell out of my rings and shoes during my pregnancy with N had nothing to do with me and everything to do with the fact that it was sub-zero temperatures. Now, as I experience pregnancy in 80+ degree heat, it seems like my body is inflating a little more every day. And finally, while I am still experiencing the awesomeness that is nesting and getting a lot done when I'm doing it, I also pay dearly for my exertions afterwards in leg/ foot/ hip/ back pain and even a few painful contractions (which do subside with rest and water thank goodness).

I guess it's a good thing that our major home projects are coming to a close. I have big plans to do very little (comparatively) in June and to instead spend my days enjoying our little family of three before Deux makes his/ her entrance. I also plan on sucking it up and hiring some house cleaning services in celebration of the end of construction. In the meantime, we finally reassembled the crib and the nursery is starting to look like a real room again.

 Bookshelves have been repainted white, and Deux has his/ her own throw pillow, swaddling blanket, and non-breakable lamp. An ottoman and rug will come later after we figure out who is joining our family. But more nursery details in general to come later. 

 Deux already has a small collection of pacifiers all his/ her own.

Hat or headband? I can't wait to find out!

In productive pre-baby news, Deux, you're on my mind often now. I love wondering when and how you will make your arrival, and I have enjoyed little as much as I love the moments that I've spent in your nursery and the little purchases I've made with just you in mind. I even laid out your Coming Home outfit in the crib to help myself envision you on the outside and in our home. I was terrified to kiss your sister for the first few weeks but you, little one, don't stand a chance. We're going to cover you in love from the first moment we lock eyes because we know that first of all, you're stronger than you will look and secondly, we know firsthand of the awesomeness to come as we live and love and grow with you. It's an experience that is well worth every single discomfort of pregnancy and labor.

Oh yeah, and even now-- in the throes of the third trimester-- I'd totally do this all again, and hopefully I will have the chance. In contrast to my pregnancy with N, where people just loved to tell me that I didn't know what I was getting myself into and that I'd better ______ before baby came because I would never be able to ______ again, this time they are more curious about a potential Baby #3. Which strikes me as weird, considering that Deux isn't even here yet. Nonetheless, my feelings on the matter have remained unwavering-- bring it on, future Baby #3. Just not for a few years.

For now, my mind is on you, Deux. The countdown is on-- you could be here in just a few weeks, and I cannot wait to meet you.


XO,


P.S.- You don't have a name. I think that this time we're going to have to see your face before we make that decision. Hopefully you don't look too bizarre right after birth. :)

Parenthood for real...

My child-- my beautiful, precious, feisty child-- is driving me insane this week. Little girlhood has hit hard and it's threatening my previously secure status of "good parent" since the rules have apparently all changed over night and I. don't. know. what. to do.. For example, what do I do when:


1. I get home after 9pm and in a fit of two year old rage N attempts to shove me out the door as she barely manages the words, "You don't come home. Go back to work." She spends over two hours screaming and crying, and alternates between agreeing and denying any plans. When she goes to sleep she is more restless than she was as a new infant and ends up in our bed by 4am.

2. As we arrive at tumbling class (one of N's favorite activities and one that she was in fact discussing excitedly with me in the car before we parked), N decides that she no longer wants to go and begins screaming "Go bye-bye; we go bye-bye; I don't yike tumbling." She then goes limp in the middle of the parking lot and I have to pull her up by the arms in order to get her to safety. Five minutes later, N is perfectly happy and joins her class with bounding enthusiasm.

3. N can, will, and does open any door in our home. This means that she now claims full reign of the pantry when I leave it unattended and pulls out any snack of her choosing. One of her favorite activities of the last few months has been cooking and making cupcakes with me, and she recognizes the packaging on any related item. She also munches on anything from crackers to cookies and Lord help Mama if I try and stop or even just dissuade her.

4. At only 27 months old, N desperately needs her nap but believes it to be optional which means that those precious hours have lost all reliability. When she doesn't play pretend with her lovies for an hour she calls out for Mama or Daddy or a drink of milk, and when N does fall asleep it's been our luck that she seems to go to the bathroom just 20 minutes later. And once she's up, she's up.


I tell my friends constantly that they don't need to justify their frustrations with "I love my child, but..." and yet I find myself compelled to do the same. I love my daughter but these days she seems to drive me crazy as often as she delights me.

It's at night, when she's well and truly asleep and her body is heavy and limp against my chest, that I can feel those last vestiges of baby in her. Her hair, which is now long and unruly enough to need corralled into a hair clip or ponytail during the day, curls finely against her neck in a truly unstyled mop that is the result of 27 months of uninhibited growth. And I swear that I've never been this dramatic before in my life but these moments feel larger than; these feel like memories of days that I already miss.


XO,

Baby Deux: 33 Weeks

Sometimes life is just too busy, or too chaotic, or too something to recap or share as it's happening. This is one of those times. Despite the fact that we have had a bunch of exciting goings-ons around our home over the past weeks-- a new kitchen floor & moldings, a big bathroom makeover, a little bathroom makeover, a new guest room completed, and nursery/ big girl room plans that are well underway-- there seems hardly enough time to sit down for a meal let alone blog about any of it.

That being said, we've been taking a multitude of pictures and I will for sure be following up as soon as humanely possible with the haps. In the meantime, I am suddenly feeling extremely pregnant between the soreness in my hips and lower back that has returned along with an awesome waddle, continued sleep issues but increased exhaustion, feeling more easily overwhelmed by life these days and having to fight the urge to snap back when something (irrationally) irritates me, and feeling Deux's movements all up in my ribs and down in my hips to the point where I am sometimes convinced that (s)he will break one of my bones.

On the bright side, we've officially reached 33 weeks-- and almost 34 if you consider June 25 as the due date-- and so meeting Deux is not so far away. In major contrast to my pregnancy with N I am feeling thankful, despite my increasing discomfort, that we still have some time left knockonwood because I've got tons of projects and checklist items to complete, from house stuff to organizational stuff to actual paid work stuff. Slow and steady wins the race, though I acknowledge being tempted to rush my preparations.

Amidst the rush, I do have to admit that I'm beginning to feel small frissons of actual, this is going to happen excitement when I am driving somewhere or doing dishes and imagine Deux's birth and meeting him/ her face-to-face for the first time. I owe a lot of this to friends and family who have been incredibly generous to start gifting us with little things that will be Deux's alone. It's strange how easily a newborn-sized pacifier or socks or swaddling blanket can bring my pregnant self to tears, but I am in awe at the amount of love that exists solely for this little one-to-be. I can't wait to meet you, Lovey.


XO,

N-tertainment

"Yes, N, gorillas do have nipples." 

File it away under phrases I never thought I'd utter. N is quickly becoming the number one hilarious person in my life, and not only for her super observation skills.

We had a great weekend visiting my family while the Mister went on his last guys' trip before Deux. 

Below are some moments that I never want to forget. 

1. N just turned 27 months, but her imaginative play brain just turned four. This past weekend one of her favorite forms of play involved deciding that someone-- normally myself but also on occasion her aunt and grandmother-- was her puppy, and she would then grab that person by some article of clothing to take her on a walk. Puppies also got regularly praised, petted, and fed.

2. We have a new favorite phrase around here, too: "I do it myself," which pertains to lots of things. Best recent instances have involved handing both the items and money to the cashier when it was time to purchase some sunscreen and a new snack cup at the store, going up/ down flights of stairs (scary stuff), and cleaning her face/ otherwise bussing her own highchair after meals.

3. N's current favorite animals are crocodiles, which by the way are "scary" and "will snap and bite you." When she saw pictures of a river from the Mister's weekend backpacking excursion she made sure to ask him immediately "is that for the crocodiles?" She also, while in the bath, asked if a wolf would bite a crocodile. When I responded that I thought that no, the crocodile would bite the wolf, she shivered with glee and exclaimed "crocodiles are so very very scary!"

4. We didn't have phone access to the Mister for almost 48 hours while he was backpacking, and it almost broke my heart to find N pretend-calling Daddy on various play phones and remote controls over the weekend where she invariably asked Daddy to come over, read books, and cuddle her. But today when they got to talk on the phone for real, after exclaiming "I love you, Daddy!" and kissing the phone, she ended the conversation with "See you soon, Little Man!" I may have broken a rib or accidentally injured Deux with my laughter.

5. Deux is still a "baby brother or sister" to N, who has proven herself to be an excellent big cousin to my nine month old nephew this weekend. She requested to hold him (no way! he's only five pounds lighter than her!), feed him a bottle (check!), and play with him (double check!) with no encouragement from me, which is super encouraging for a good transition with the little sib-to-be.

6. Things are still slow going in no-more-diapers land, but N is showing consistent interest. One of her favorite activities recently has been watching any adult use the restroom and then asking him/ her, "Are you potty trained?" in an awed voice. Following an affirmative response, she then takes on the role of super enthusiastic trainer: "You're a big girl/ boy! Good job! You get an m&m!"


XO,

Hello there, insomnia...

We meet again.

Women mention and complain and commiserate over several somewhat miserable side effects of pregnancy: swelling; muscle soreness; nausea; shortness of breath; constipation; general uncomfortableness; and heartburn, to name a few. And those are some legit complaints. They aren't, however, side effects that have generally made an impression on me thus far through these pregnancies. In most respects, I've been lucky to have my discomforts remain minimal (until after birth, let's be honest-- the recovery process for me with N was no joke) except for one. The one that I complain about above. Insomnia.

Sometime around the last month or so with N and already (!!!) at just before 31 weeks with Deux, my sleep cycle started making executive decisions that I can't say I'm fully on board with; despite feeling exhausted, my body will not sleep for more than about three hours before I am awake, no sleep to be had, for at least one. This cycle is remarkably similar to life with a newborn, but exponentially obnoxious given the lack of need for sleeplessness as this time. Some of it, I'm sure, is because I have to pee and end up waking up to do it at the wrong time. But since I make an effort to not turn on any lights or otherwise unnecessarily wake myself to do so, I'm not giving that theory too much credit. In the end, this insomnia is just a cruel pregnancy thing.

And the ironic cure? Having a baby. Because though I could then sleep through the night sans problem, baby won't be cool with that choice for quite some time. So me and exhaustion, it seems, are in it for the long haul. Life is about to get (well, stay) loopy.

At least it's never boring!


XO,


P.S.- There are lots of positive sleep habits that normally assist with better rest, such as some herbs like lavender, keeping to a nighttime ritual, taking a warm bath or shower right before bed to slightly raise temperature (subsequent lowered body temp triggers sleepiness i.e. release of melatonin), winding down and eschewing technology-- especially screen time-- at the end of the day, lowering lights, having a consistent sleep schedule, keeping the bedroom dark, white noise, and activities such as progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing and meditation. And, you know, there are drugs like Benadryl. For me, while under any other circumstances these are super helpful (especially in combination), I have found that they do little to help in terms of pregnancy-induced insomnia.

P.P.S.- Also as far as I've noticed this insomnia is not due to being particularly uncomfortable or in pain, anxious, or hungry. It just is. I fall asleep faster than usual for me but I just can't seem to stay that way. Other pregnant women benefit from sleeping in a reclined chair or having a snack/ drink or avoiding food/ drink for a few hours before bed. That's just not my reality.

P.P.P.S.- I know way too much about this shit. However, an hour has nearly passed and I can literally feel my body winding back down. It's time for my last few hours of sleep!

P.P.P.P.S.- I do think that my lack of sleep is related to Deux's crazy nighttime antics. Normally (s)he wakes up and spends my alert hour bopping around my uterus like it's party time. I can't wait (read: sarcasm) to see how this habit translates once (s)he becomes an outside baby.

P.P.P.P.P.S.- Goodnight.

Baby Deux: 31 Weeks

Somehow it's already Sunday night, and we're another intense work weekend down. Over the past few days we've been a little crazy. When we weren't sorting through five closets worth of crap, we were hanging a gallery wall, neutralizing the nursery, searching around online for an as-of-yet elusive pouf and new throw pillow to replace the ones that N took with her from the glider, scheduling our bathroom reno, assembling the Mister's new Big Boy Grill (what is it with men and outdoor cooking?!), and-- oh yeah-- continuing to strip our kitchen floor down to the basics and then finally starting to lay the new tile. It's so purty so far, but the hours that have gone into getting it even a quarter complete have been a major exercise in patience for me. Sometimes I'm kind of into instant gratification, and our current world makes it a little too easy to indulge in that way of thinking.

(The hot mess that is our kitchen at the moment.)

 (N's gallery wall in progress.)

 (The best kind of bookshelves.)

 (A festively draped mirror until I can convince the Mister to build out a frame for it.)

Speaking of exercises in patience, I'm also now 31 weeks pregnant, and Deux is the size of a cucumber?! Not only do I believe it but I sometimes feel like that's an underestimate as I start to feel him/ her stretching limbs into my ribs and hips in a most unpleasant fashion. The biggest milestone that we achieved this week was probably Deux's first two-three sets of hiccups that I've noticed. I'm hoping that since I'm feeling them way down low that means the babe is already hanging out head down like a good boy/ girl. In other news I finally look "very knocked up" as opposed to merely "probably pregnant" and the third trimester insomnia is starting to kick in. I've been tempted into using Benadryl a few nights already, and I hate to admit it but even that is only helping so much. I am, however, grateful for signs that all is well and that Deux is growing and developing right on schedule.

(The neutralized nursery in progress.)

I've started thinking about random things, like packing a diaper bag for two and stocking up on bottled water + granola bars before the birth and ordering postpartum supplies that will make that piece of the process go just a little bit smoother. In the next week or two I will probably start making lists like crazy, and start sorting through my bins of newborn gear, but I don't feel hurried to rush into those last minute details nearly as much as I did the last time around, when I packed our hospital bags around 30 weeks and was anxious to have everything.possible.done. before I was "full term" at 37 weeks. Never mind the reality that a) N hung in there until 41 weeks and b) was assisted into birth via induction. Needless to say I have a new mindset this time around and though I will probably be praying for labor at 39 weeks, I accept the possibility that this baby will come when (s)he is good and ready.

(You know you're pregnant when sorting through a stack of baby shower and welcome baby cards makes you bawl-- tears, heaving chest, and all. Husband officially thinks I'm crazy.)

Now onto the next week! I'm looking forward to a midwife visit and visiting family.


XO,

Flower Power

Happy Hump Day!

Depending on who I talk to, I've been either nesting like crazy or have a wicked case of Spring Fever. More than likely, it's probably a combination but either way I am super grateful for recently improved weather conditions in this very rainy and cold corner of the planet. Perhaps the outdoors will green up soon! And in the meantime, I've got $3.99 bouquets from Trader Joe's and leftover birthday blooms that aren't quite ready to be planted outside to tide me over.


XO,